I had it all framed in my head as to what I should write today. I mean it ain't necessary you know to write everyday, like I am sooo not a regular blogger or anything. But I did promise two people who wanted to make an entry into it. And thus, today they will. I have to give names again....this is soooo fun!!! giving names to people, making this new world where there are all these characters. Like anne said the other day 'your blog should be called mikontalo soap opera or smtg'. I am just lethargic today....too much of anything but studying. And when I am supposed to be only studying. Endless mugs of coffee and trying to motivate myself to head to the University on a bright sunday afternoon and then anne tells me now we have to add an hour to the clock which means it is now 7.30 pm and my self motivating talks haven't yet spurned(?) me to get off from facebook!I cana ctually blog and facebook all at the same time you see! Hmph!! facebook that soul capturing voting machine that spoons your ego!!!*groan* it has to end! it reallllly has to end someday!
Sooo yesterday was good fun...not in the typical* I am drunk and can't rememebr a thing sort of way* but in the *I am drunk but I can still see people and I must take care of my flatmate way! *First there was a small spanish dinner which was kinda good fun...because there was light and never heard of type music from Longranio ( i honestly can't spell it but thats how it sounds) a city in Spain where you can find the best wine and one best man...according to Nasal who happens to be my dearest friend Hictory's boyfriend. He apparently being the best man. And then there was some good spanish food and lots of beer. We had vodka too but hictory forgot to bring juice so anne had to come over to lend us some but as you know if you have learnt chemistry that the speed at which alcohol disappears is...hmmmm whatever!! It just disappers...you know!
And I sooo wished owl (from the O that i introduced the last time) was here....so I just kept drinking however at quite a slow pace which I think was good for me 'coz I didn't end up dead drunk or anything. And then there was vodka with tea!! I never thought of mixing vodka with tea but it did happen and though the smell of it was awful it tasted like tea only.which meant that we just kept drinking tea till we got wasted. But me...no! I didnt. Smart girl that I am. And then there was nasal and hictory who looked so cute together with a bit of cheek kissing and small hugs that I wanted to marry them off right away! Priestess me!! We then decided to head of to the next spanish party which was supposed to be louder but by the time we dragged our liquor weighing souls the party was almost over and Hell!! there wasn't any music. But drunk people can get away with anything. right? yeah so we pretended to listen to music in our heads, like hictory said 'okay so its beyonce now...and we just imagine 'uh-oh-uh-oh....craaaaaazzzzzy in luuuuv' tunes in our heads and started doin quite some of those sexy turny steps and oh! we luuuv forming a circle and then pair up and go in and do sum pretty *later on regretful* steps. Like usually the next day we go like' f*^$k did I really do thaaaaaat'...but of course mainly when we are drunk as hell. I think the rest of the more sober people around us just watched us in awe like 'what are these people doing'?? kinda way. or maybe they didn't care! but after many more of macarenas and god knows what we discovered a laptop in the other room which had music so off we galloped to the next room and did this number where we are okay for like 5 seconds and then run around hitting everybody like pushing and all and then again at peace!! WOAAAA! it was funny and then as usual I got bruised and had to sit on a nearby sofa nurturing my wounds.
but I think the most touching moment when I really thought I might burst into tears was when I stood by the big brown window and watched the snow and the tall pine trees and it reminded me of owl and me watching the night sky. Damn!! I hate that. Its sooo painful when you think of these really happy moments coz after some time they turn painful.
so back to the party. Anne for a change decided to throw up. so I stood by the toilet door while she made the mess and this verry annoying boy-porcupine stood there and laughed and called us names (which I shall spare for now). and it was annoying coz he was verry kissable and then that whole bloody feeling went up in flames when he started name calling. damn you porcupines!!! well, in some time we simply left the party as there I guess wasn't anything more to do except this urge to stand by the window and reminisce those owl days. So off we went home with anne doing diagonal lines between block A and D and then toppling off on the snow, lying face up and giggling like a baby. Then a bit of acrobatics, trying to jump a construction line security wire and then somehow managing to finding her way to the flat we call home for now.
Me, as usual stayed up watching a bit of grey's anatomy, wondering why Derek couldn't sign those divorse papers ( reruns if you must know) and knowing exactly what Meredith might have felt when she finds out. After an hour of self sympathising, looking into the mirror and trying to find a new hairstyle at 4 in the morning, I snoozed off only to find myself awake at an unacceptable hour!! But tomorrow is another day, and I have a resolution to keep which I shall soon write about.
Aaaaah!ooooh! I think Anhel is one helluva cute guy! :)
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
The Aftermath.
Aaaaaand I am baaaack!! Exam was oookay. You know when you know like 2 words out of three? yeah. It was one of those types. I knew my conjugations I think. But I dare to check them up. cuase maybe they are all wrong. And what on earth is menna is Finnish? Had to make a sentence with menna in it. and I thought hmmm maybe I should just write 'this is menna'. but then I also wrote 'this is serttu' or something for the previous word so I didnt want the examiner to think I am a dumbo. Like what if 'menna' meant going. and so my sentence would mean 'this is going'?!? Gosh! hope 'serttu' or whatever is a thing.
So I walked home from the university and I had my head full of thoughts about the blog. It was fun and the walk wasn't so boring for a change. But by the time I entered my flat I forgot the wonderful structure that blew up in my head. Now i am racking my brains for what I was thinking of. Yes yes. Men was one of the topics. I think I was trying to figure out how to write today's blog without having 'those' in it. Oooooh! before I forget I saw two kids a little girl of about 8 and a boy maybe 6 running up and down a smallish mountain of snow. The girl was taking the lead you know and the liitle boy just kept following her around. Reminded me of a *happy* moment when I was a kid and my bro sort of did the same. *sigh* those were the days! And I just stood there and wathced them. but then I suddenly thought - man! this is soo bollywoodish....like I could cry any minute. Beh!!
yes now I remember. Its about where I live. Its one place where you can be a woman and smoke a ciggerette without people staring at you saying 'look look smoking ovaries'! and you can even wear two pig tails and one pony tail all at the same time and not a soul stares at you!! I wanna live here all my life. My reputation might change!! wooohoooo! and then my flat. Yes. I live in a flat (me!me!) like you know I pay the rent and stuff **dream come true** and my flatmates are super. Its the first time in ages that I get along so bloody well with women- 'Non judgemental taking care of you uninhibited types'. If you care ie.! We can just sit around and talk about all that you dare and it never has so far ended in a fight, snarl or whatever.
Hmm...I was just thinking. I should make my blog a little more with good manners. Too much slang in here today. wanna gonna whatever...! but today dear all lets make it an exception. okay? wokay!
So Roberta is going to lapland. But like good stuff I want to give names. The third flatmate- lets call her doby? reminiscing the elf. and anne? hmm.... lets call her A? noooo.....my sentences would fall apart- A was going there and..... A what? an apple? A scooter?? No A won't do. Okay am babbling. Lets stick to anne. cause Anne and doby sounds good. So Doby is leaving for lapland and Anne thinks that there would be silence in the flat for the next few days. I dont think Doby was too happy to hear that. And I said Oh let's have an IQIM party after she leaves.( read: Its Quiet In Mikontalo). Mikontalo is where we live. and recently we had an RWP party which means 'Robertas whatever party' as she had moved in and we had too many moving in parties in Mikontalo and we thought it would be pretty cool to say whatever party for a change.
Well it was funny, the whole IQIM i think.
So its Os birthday(in a few days) and I had it all planned out. A party with friends, me baking a cake, he being all happy, some kissing and some more. O as you would want to know is my crush. It wasn't. But then it was. So now I plan all good sfuff for him but maybe he doesn't know that yet. Doby on the other hand has this HUUUGE thing for my friend Gigo. and she sooo wants to have him. But gigo I tell you is one hard nut to crack. For now I am handling this situation very precariously. I think I prefer solving this problem than mine. Its always better to advice people than follow them yourself. So I adviced doby to tell gigo how she feels. But doby doesn't want to. And I said "look- he is a nice guy, gigo. if you tell him, he will respond whether positive or in the negative. Its better to know right? and besides he wont go around the block bragging that a girl asked him out. So just do it". But doby is running away to lapland, then to Russia. Wish I could do that. I mean when I want to tell a guy how I feel, and I dont want to coz I am scared, then just take a flight to Russia or some place! Ain't that nice? 'hi sorry I cant ask him out so lemme go to Russia'.... Hope doby musters up the courage to tell him though. She is soo pretty and nice in a nice girly way and gigo is cute with glasses and respects women kinda guy. So you know they would make quite a nice couple.
I guess with doby running away for the week, we wont be having much of gigo talks like 'do you think he meant that when he said this' kinda talk! Shoot. It will be one sad week without my elf. Maybe we might talk about O. But we don't. I shy away I think. Nooo. not shy away. I am waiting for the moment. The right moment. But what the hell is that? and when when when??? OOOOOOOhhhhh ...see so mnay Osss :)
Its snowing outside.But I am not impressed. Let me surf facebook for now. and pray a bit for the whole dobygigo thing.
So I walked home from the university and I had my head full of thoughts about the blog. It was fun and the walk wasn't so boring for a change. But by the time I entered my flat I forgot the wonderful structure that blew up in my head. Now i am racking my brains for what I was thinking of. Yes yes. Men was one of the topics. I think I was trying to figure out how to write today's blog without having 'those' in it. Oooooh! before I forget I saw two kids a little girl of about 8 and a boy maybe 6 running up and down a smallish mountain of snow. The girl was taking the lead you know and the liitle boy just kept following her around. Reminded me of a *happy* moment when I was a kid and my bro sort of did the same. *sigh* those were the days! And I just stood there and wathced them. but then I suddenly thought - man! this is soo bollywoodish....like I could cry any minute. Beh!!
yes now I remember. Its about where I live. Its one place where you can be a woman and smoke a ciggerette without people staring at you saying 'look look smoking ovaries'! and you can even wear two pig tails and one pony tail all at the same time and not a soul stares at you!! I wanna live here all my life. My reputation might change!! wooohoooo! and then my flat. Yes. I live in a flat (me!me!) like you know I pay the rent and stuff **dream come true** and my flatmates are super. Its the first time in ages that I get along so bloody well with women- 'Non judgemental taking care of you uninhibited types'. If you care ie.! We can just sit around and talk about all that you dare and it never has so far ended in a fight, snarl or whatever.
Hmm...I was just thinking. I should make my blog a little more with good manners. Too much slang in here today. wanna gonna whatever...! but today dear all lets make it an exception. okay? wokay!
So Roberta is going to lapland. But like good stuff I want to give names. The third flatmate- lets call her doby? reminiscing the elf. and anne? hmm.... lets call her A? noooo.....my sentences would fall apart- A was going there and..... A what? an apple? A scooter?? No A won't do. Okay am babbling. Lets stick to anne. cause Anne and doby sounds good. So Doby is leaving for lapland and Anne thinks that there would be silence in the flat for the next few days. I dont think Doby was too happy to hear that. And I said Oh let's have an IQIM party after she leaves.( read: Its Quiet In Mikontalo). Mikontalo is where we live. and recently we had an RWP party which means 'Robertas whatever party' as she had moved in and we had too many moving in parties in Mikontalo and we thought it would be pretty cool to say whatever party for a change.
Well it was funny, the whole IQIM i think.
So its Os birthday(in a few days) and I had it all planned out. A party with friends, me baking a cake, he being all happy, some kissing and some more. O as you would want to know is my crush. It wasn't. But then it was. So now I plan all good sfuff for him but maybe he doesn't know that yet. Doby on the other hand has this HUUUGE thing for my friend Gigo. and she sooo wants to have him. But gigo I tell you is one hard nut to crack. For now I am handling this situation very precariously. I think I prefer solving this problem than mine. Its always better to advice people than follow them yourself. So I adviced doby to tell gigo how she feels. But doby doesn't want to. And I said "look- he is a nice guy, gigo. if you tell him, he will respond whether positive or in the negative. Its better to know right? and besides he wont go around the block bragging that a girl asked him out. So just do it". But doby is running away to lapland, then to Russia. Wish I could do that. I mean when I want to tell a guy how I feel, and I dont want to coz I am scared, then just take a flight to Russia or some place! Ain't that nice? 'hi sorry I cant ask him out so lemme go to Russia'.... Hope doby musters up the courage to tell him though. She is soo pretty and nice in a nice girly way and gigo is cute with glasses and respects women kinda guy. So you know they would make quite a nice couple.
I guess with doby running away for the week, we wont be having much of gigo talks like 'do you think he meant that when he said this' kinda talk! Shoot. It will be one sad week without my elf. Maybe we might talk about O. But we don't. I shy away I think. Nooo. not shy away. I am waiting for the moment. The right moment. But what the hell is that? and when when when??? OOOOOOOhhhhh ...see so mnay Osss :)
Its snowing outside.But I am not impressed. Let me surf facebook for now. and pray a bit for the whole dobygigo thing.
when the male species disappear and happiness sets in!
So here a siting in my glass box trying to study a language I know I wont be using much. and I have an exam coming up in the next 45 minutes and I know I should be studyin but I am not. Its just that I suddenly remembered that I should write more and I feel like it right now. Some body told me that my writing makes him sad and that I should probably write when I am happy. But dear friend the problem in this disillusioned world is that we are all f!***g dis illusioned and we assume too much and then we go crashing down. Just like some of the things that has been hapennin got me without a pause the past one year...It fulfills its anniversary this april. Wohooooo...and I am still alive. So tell me- when should I write? Coz its always been like this for the past almost 365 days. Happy momnets? Yeah there were plenty - but again the problem is that it all seems to be hooked onto boy issues. Oh! damn!!! I was so happy when I was with him no? yeah ...and I was soo happy when I was with the other him too..!and these are my real happy momnets? Fuck! 27 years wated in measuring happy momnets with all the wrong people who came and went.
So here I am- resolving that my happy momnets from now on will be with anything but the male species. ( this excluding my family of course...but you know what I mean.) I should be recording them from now on. Maybe yesterday's highlight was when Anne Elise jumped about the flat claiming that I was harrasing her which wasn't all that true but what the hell. She is one of the cutest and darling-est friends I have. I mean where can you find a friend who not only cooks for you and lets you get away without washing the dishes, but who also gives you a hug without you askin for it and washes you up when you are sort of blanked out with too much alcohol...eh??
And then there were some again when we just laughed but honestly I don't remember what the topic was. You know besides the happy thoughts I hate looong sentences...they are soo fucking dis illusiioned! and now I seem to love the word dis illusioned...makes me feel that I am not! 35 minutes left for my exam and I am typing at a crazy speed so forgive me if there are about a zillion typos and by the way is it outdated to say ' zillion'...my thoughts are flooowing. So where were we? Aah - loong sentences. Yeah. Hate them. Coz you start at one end and after all those commas and apostophes you forget what the beginnenig was and then you gotto start them all over again no? Blech!
I hope I pass the exam. First time in my life I am blogging or doing something else and not studying just before an exam. Its weird yet so over powering. Oh! if you drink a lot btw do get yourslef a good diet ...maybe that way your memeory can stay good. Cos I just realized while studying that I am all fuzzed in my head. The alcohol I say!
Okay so I should get on with ahppy moments. Actually I just alsmost snared at a friend (funny guy) who hasnt bothered to turn up for any of my parties. I just didnt have the energy to act and say Ohhhh nooo prbs! love you blah blah...I just snarled...you know. But besides that so far hapiness is getting into me. Sorry dear N- didnt mean to snarl. wtf! I know you dont even know I have a blog!
Okies. thats it. No clue what I have written. but its 30 minutes to my exam and I need to grab a coffee from juvenes befor eI go hunting for the exam room. now I can't rememebr the genetiivi and partitiiveees....reminds me of peeves the ghost in the potter series!
Okay! enuf! see you with more happier moments minus the male diorama.
So here I am- resolving that my happy momnets from now on will be with anything but the male species. ( this excluding my family of course...but you know what I mean.) I should be recording them from now on. Maybe yesterday's highlight was when Anne Elise jumped about the flat claiming that I was harrasing her which wasn't all that true but what the hell. She is one of the cutest and darling-est friends I have. I mean where can you find a friend who not only cooks for you and lets you get away without washing the dishes, but who also gives you a hug without you askin for it and washes you up when you are sort of blanked out with too much alcohol...eh??
And then there were some again when we just laughed but honestly I don't remember what the topic was. You know besides the happy thoughts I hate looong sentences...they are soo fucking dis illusiioned! and now I seem to love the word dis illusioned...makes me feel that I am not! 35 minutes left for my exam and I am typing at a crazy speed so forgive me if there are about a zillion typos and by the way is it outdated to say ' zillion'...my thoughts are flooowing. So where were we? Aah - loong sentences. Yeah. Hate them. Coz you start at one end and after all those commas and apostophes you forget what the beginnenig was and then you gotto start them all over again no? Blech!
I hope I pass the exam. First time in my life I am blogging or doing something else and not studying just before an exam. Its weird yet so over powering. Oh! if you drink a lot btw do get yourslef a good diet ...maybe that way your memeory can stay good. Cos I just realized while studying that I am all fuzzed in my head. The alcohol I say!
Okay so I should get on with ahppy moments. Actually I just alsmost snared at a friend (funny guy) who hasnt bothered to turn up for any of my parties. I just didnt have the energy to act and say Ohhhh nooo prbs! love you blah blah...I just snarled...you know. But besides that so far hapiness is getting into me. Sorry dear N- didnt mean to snarl. wtf! I know you dont even know I have a blog!
Okies. thats it. No clue what I have written. but its 30 minutes to my exam and I need to grab a coffee from juvenes befor eI go hunting for the exam room. now I can't rememebr the genetiivi and partitiiveees....reminds me of peeves the ghost in the potter series!
Okay! enuf! see you with more happier moments minus the male diorama.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
For I can't say it to you-
I write for you to read
I write for I want to write
I write thinking that it would make myself more clear to you
I write hoping that it would be more clear to you
I write wishing that you would understand
I write wondering why you came home
I write wondering if you would change
I write thinking of whether it was all my fault
I write because there is nothing more I can do
somewhere between homes, we find that space to kiss
somewhere in hidden grounds we manage to make ourselves feel better
and we think that with it everything will fall back to being normal
when we play games, you and I,
we know that it brings us a spring of hope,
that maybe the magic of the moment can be held within our hands
but then the moonlight fades away and you and I are strangers once again
until we find that space again.
do we do this until the light forgets to disappear?
or do we do this until we let our hearts fall apart
in my heart I blanked you off as black and white
I put you in a hollow, for me you were not.
but then I see myself in pages of stories and I wonder if
I shouldn't see it all in that way,
because maybe ....
...just maybe you feel that way too.
I write for I want to write
I write thinking that it would make myself more clear to you
I write hoping that it would be more clear to you
I write wishing that you would understand
I write wondering why you came home
I write wondering if you would change
I write thinking of whether it was all my fault
I write because there is nothing more I can do
somewhere between homes, we find that space to kiss
somewhere in hidden grounds we manage to make ourselves feel better
and we think that with it everything will fall back to being normal
when we play games, you and I,
we know that it brings us a spring of hope,
that maybe the magic of the moment can be held within our hands
but then the moonlight fades away and you and I are strangers once again
until we find that space again.
do we do this until the light forgets to disappear?
or do we do this until we let our hearts fall apart
in my heart I blanked you off as black and white
I put you in a hollow, for me you were not.
but then I see myself in pages of stories and I wonder if
I shouldn't see it all in that way,
because maybe ....
...just maybe you feel that way too.
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