The corn theory and a rather dull day.

I have a TERRIBLE headache. Its isn't a hangover for a change. A project completion is due and I'm getting butterflies in my tummy. I'm sulking in bed, and I realize I don't have readers anymore. They exist until one day they don't. I suppose people have better things to do these days. I need to file my tax returns, and I have no effing clue how to do it. My accounts are in a terrible mess, and now I realize, in my old- school- girl- day style, I will have to do night outs and finish them off so that the boys who come to collect tax don't think bad of me. Ugh.
When I think of paying 'em taxes, it disgusts me, cos I can't even afford to pay my rent, then why on earth should I pay tax. But I guess that's the curse of living in a third world democratic economy. I hate being poor man. Its sucks.
All my friends are now either getting married or getting girlfriends/ boyfriends/ patching up with ex-es. I am trying to be normal, and do the regular thing of looking into marriage proposals. But it's still sorta not my thing. 
Did you know the 'corn theory'? So it goes something like this:
So one fine day, Plato goes to Socrates and asks, "Dear S. I am curious. What's love all about?".
Socrates looks at him and says, "Plato dear, I want you to walk into a field of corn. Keep walking straight ahead and don't look back. As you go I want you to pick the tallest corn you find and bring it to me, but remember, no turning back."


So off goes Plato, and he enters the corn field. He sees a tall corn right upfront, but then thinks to himself, "Hmm...There's a good chance I'll find a taller one."
By the time he reaches the end of the field poor Plato realizes he's missed out on the tallest, and out of fear he picks up a moderately tall corn and goes back to Socrates.


Socrates asks, "Was this the tallest?".
Plato replies, "No. Not really, but since you asked me to not go back, I took this one, I was at the end of my rope already." 
"Aaah my son," says Socrates. "That is Love."


The next day Plato goes back and asks S. the meaning of "marriage".


This time, once again, S asks P to go back to the corn field. Same rule as before. 
"Alright", says Plato.


But Plato decides to be careful this time. He walks in and picks up pretty much the first tall corn he sees, and brings it back to Socrates.


On seeing Plato, Socrates asks, " Was this the tallest corn in the field?". 
"No", says Plato. "It wasn't, but I was afraid I may go far ahead and miss out on the tallest corn, so I decided to take one moderately tall on at the start of my journey."


To this Socrates smiles and says,  "Son, that is marriage."


Story ends.


This theory has been stuck in my head, so am very careful to not pick up the first corn. I'm going to have to wait. It's going to be worth it. I know. 


Back to bed, with my horrible fever and runny nose. Ooooh but I got my fridge! A gift from my father, but really, I got it! Sigh. I love you Universe. I love you soo much!

At Home

The plants have been potted. The crockery shelf has been filled up with china and glassware. A 60 x 60 canvas replication of Frida Kahlo's Las Dos Fridas rests at the back of the shelf. Two Fridas holding hands, hearts bleeding. The yellow palms, stand tall and let out their green arms in all directions. The white petal anthurium is the only one that needs a bit of help. She looks a bit dried out and tired. The tiles have been mopped, and the blinds drawn up. The spring night is just at the right warmth, and the bottle of oil sits atop the tiny green side table in my balcony. 

Its been a year, since I moved in. The south west room is now all of mine. I haven't been able to fit in the teak wood writing desk into it though. And now it doesn't matter because its been shifted to my studio.

The maid now serves dinner in the china when she thinks I am expecting guests and often tells me where she's hidden the ladles and all. 

I've come to love this place more than I did a few months ago. It protects me from everything, and makes me feel safe. When I have a bad day at work, the soothing part of it is when I step onto the threshold. The house takes me into a neat gleamy space, full of love. I suspect she even talks to me, and tells me what she thinks. Nowadays she even smiles at me approvingly. The fears go away, and I after years of having the traveler's remorse, is now back at the place I can now call home. And no I ain't schizophrenic.

In which I tell you our grand new theory!

Last night, the two planets, Mars and Venus were aligned close to each other. You could see them nestled as comfortably together as is possible within the universe, bright little things, not one bit of twinkling, just astute brightness, although I suspect one was a tad bit shinier than the other. I stood by the backwaters, the breezy night soothing itself through my hair, and found this sight most calming. 

As they so rightly say ' Men are from Mars, Women from Venus.' This day was surely going to be less confusing than the rest I thought.

I can't discern much, but what took off as a pleasant night got even better, because I suppose my time with myself and the discussion I've been having with a dear friend helped me realize something with no effort. And it was this. 

'Marriage was invented by women.' Period. [ As the friend very cleverly put it, 'the best kept secret, the untold bond between every woman.] The notes preceding this, and post this also leads to the theory of how the 'slut' arose.

So here goes;

1. Years ago, and that would be from the very very beginning, Man as we all know had a hunter in him. He could give out life energy [and by that I mean his sperm], but that was that. He could hunt and kill and bring home the bacon. He could donate the life energy within him. But he couldn't literally give birth. That was the woman's job. 

2. The women, on the other hand, [considering a thousand years ago, the idea of science was still developing, medicine and technology barely heard of] bore children, quite a few in number. That was hard labour, as is now, but then again, the mortality rates of both mother and baby were high. The women took quite the beating. Their bodies had to give birth to a life form. It wasn't as comfortable as it can be now. 

3. The women, would churn out babies one after the other. Their aim was to procreate incessantly. Life was all about conceiving, carrying the child for 9 months and delivering. They could barely move about. Once the child was born, their life was dedicated to bringing the children up. It was exhausting. The women in this way were mostly indoors. 

4. Careers then weren't an option for women. The men worked, the women stayed at home. 

5. Now to the two types of men that we find. One is the real thing: he who disperses his life energy into one woman, and then takes care of her and puts in effort to bring up their offsprings with much care so that in turn they learn to sustain, and life moves forth. Their  gene pool thus preserved.

6. The other kind of man is the one who wants to disperse his seeds far and wide. He wants to inseminate as many women as he can. His sexual drive is high. But he can't be held responsible for anything further than insemination.

7. At some stage, women learnt that the former kind is the more dependent one. You need all the help you can get from your male partner in order to sustain yourself and your children. 

8. That's how it came about: the unsaid bond within sisterhood. The unsaid rules that developed between women: that 'we need the [former] man. We need to get these guys to stay with us and help us. and for that we will have to set out some rules. Just to differentiate between the two kinds. We will have to put a price on 'sex'. We will have to put a price on 'virginity'. We will need to bring in some kind of contract, an agreement, so that we can discern between the two varieties. The former kind will most definitely be more condescending to our rules, and that will help us bring forth and raise our children and help us sustain.

9. This agreement evolved to be known as what we call today marriage. 

But as the friend pointed out,

10. Marriage made sense then. When finances were being handled by the man. But now,  womankind is evolving. They are educated, they are learning to fend for themselves. And now the question arises. 'Do women who are independent really require a man to help support them?'.

Not really. 

And onto how the 'slut' evolved.

11.  Remember when women started putting a price on everything? This became a natural instinct. They needed to keep those rules to get a good guy, with good genes. [ something that goes like: I will need a car, a house, good schooling for my kids etc etc etc, and in return I will give you love and sex.] Then there started trickling in women, who didn't really want anything in return. They just didn't. And the men would move onto them. They became a threat eventually. And it was the most natural instinct in the rest of the women [who followed this sisterhood law] to condemn the other woman's actions, and begin labeling them in a negative way, simply because this woman, was devaluing them in turn by her actions. 


And that was the theory. Back to work!

Now and Then. Thoughts post watching the Iron Lady.

'The difference between now and then is that now everybody feels. Then it was all about thoughts and ideas.'

[The Iron Lady]

There used to be a time, when integrity meant the world. Honour stood before the rest. A word was a word. A promise was meant to be kept, and it was uttered only when it came from the heart and the promise wouldn't be broken. This was how the world sustained I suppose. The wholeness that came out of such noble thoughts brought out a love that much more pure. That much more sought after.

This translated into one's character, and as put so beautifully; Watch your character. It becomes your destiny.

Now, here as I sit, I've lost that world where doing things and doing them right were held by honesty, sincerety and respect.

Now, I sit in a world, where disillusionment crosses out every word. Where trust cannot be shared. Where a word is anything but that. Where all that everybody seems to want is to feel right. Never mind what anybody else thinks, nevermind what anybody else is put through. Its all about us. You and me.

Did our parents have to go through endless self help books? Did they feel the need to visit a shrink? Did they have identity issues? I guess for the most of it no they did not.

Then what's so different now? People all around seem lost. I wouldn't say I can't be excluded from them.

It's probably because of thoughts, or rather the non- existence of them,

for as the famous quote goes;

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become your character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

And as a friend recently put it,

'No matter how unpopular your opinions are, no matter how unpopular your thoughts are, you should stick by them. Because they are right. And that's all that matters in the end.'