It has been a messy somewhat in- explainable journey so far. I used to have a way with words, that I lost along the way. I lost a lot of me along the way, and turned into this incomprehensible person, with no zest for life to say the least. Existence, existing with pain and fear became my forte. The rhythm that I carried along, that used to hum within me also disappeared, and what was remaining was nothing. After years of longing, and seeking and wanting to know, today I simply cover my body in a warm shawl breathing out the heat, and hugging myself. The journey took me a long way, a meandering, tough path that unfurled into me a new life, which today gives a long meaning. The nothingness, that's where I began once again. I am yet to know what really will happen to me, but now that's a thing of the past. After spending 5 years in a little town, a town soaking in conservatism, sexism and quasi feudalism, I've become my own. I've learnt to own every part of me, to not be ashamed and to stand up. I've been beaten down far too many times, and here I am today, wrapped up in my shawl, cocooned in a bud, and smiling in my heart. Just owning myself places me in a place where there is only grace, and grace alone.
