Of all the people who wanted to share my flat with me- it turned about to be one without much of an existence.
So now for the next three weeks that is starting from 21 st december 2007 to 10th jan, 2008 20 days to be precise I shall be sharing my accomodation with one such as a ghost. yipeeee! for the ghost. Hopefully with having too much of me around he/ she shall flee soon:o)
Anyways, thats all besides the point. I actually started blog writing a couple of months ago. That was when I was someone's wife. Married and quite not happy. So I totally needed this space to be myself and start making some sense of at least my career and started making out with the computer- sort of to validate my life, if I can call it that!
But of course one post up and I felt that I was all validated and stopped writing- mainly as I failed to conjure up any more feelings about my profession and mostly as I discovered the pleasure of watching desperate housewives online. And I felt so Breeee the whole time that for the next 1 and a half months I baked in my head and imagined all these 'family dinners' with invisible non obedient children and a dissenting husband. Ah! well.... ! at least I put my imagination to good use if not anything else!
To almost discover or finally open up to the fact that I may never have those butterfly flutters in my tummy, to never go out for that much awaited dinner at Rossa and come back to for some awesome sex ( if at all! ), to curl up in bed with H and speak under my breath and all that! was more a numbing feeling than a shock. I decided at odd hours to live with it. To suffer silently and hope that I have children so that maybe I could be an over bearing mother and focus all my energy on bringing them up- all this just so that I don't remember all too easily of my life without the afore mentioned!
So here goes- a few points to be emphasised before I write stuff.
1.I don't want to be the next best thing around, I want to be completely out there and be original.
2. I must ( MUST ) stop getting influenced by the books and blogs I read...and just tend to my own.
3. I don't want to churn out my deep secrets, at least not yet- not until my divorce is through...but Oh! how I wish I could write about it all ( especiall when my blog is called THAT!) Hah!
4. I want to tell you all about me so much so that maybe you readers ( if any?) could possibly tell what went wrong, and why...why? am I still at the age of 26 feeling so bloody confused about every single thing in my life..
5. Um...well can't really think of anything more to emphasis...maybe If I do come with something more I shall update.
So where were we? ah! yes- the bored housewife with a wild imagination. So while I was amidst all that silence in my life, I (yes! I did!! why is it o difficult for me to belive that still!?!)got accepted in for a masters program at a nearby University and thats when I thought that maybe, just maybe I could be all this NRI wifey, with a double degree, in black and white suite, high heels, hair highlighted, knowing exactly what she wants plus more! - a complete refreshing addition to the every day changing 'look' of the stereo typical Indian women!! but alas! that wasn't how it turned out to be.
No it didnt.
It just meant more fights with him...it just meant having to realize how much happier he was when I spent most of the time at the university and it just meant zero sex! ( but then, by then it had meandered down to minus degrees).
So however thy life is, one must go on and on..right? Right.
I shall stop here. I want to consider what I wrote. Should I not give a damn and write it all? Should I??
Or should I simply flit through and tell you about my days when I was all of sixteen and full of drama? Bah! maybe not- not ONE of those!!!
Its time to wind up for today. Glancing back I havent written anything substantial- what the heck! its a start right? Right.
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