Day indulgence

I woke up late today. As always. Its 14.00 now. And am sipping tea and writing. I should have been at school indulging in work coffee and friends. I don't usually regret waking up so late. I am usually thankful to my body for not doing so earlier. For having made me miss the first half of the day. I need to deal with only less now.

But today, while in bed throughout the morning I was painfully aware that I shouldn't be in it. I didnt have any chores to do, nothing in particular that I had to complete, yet the guilt danced in my belly. So I finally woke up and made tea.

Waking up at this hour doesn't hold any meaning to me anymore. As insignificant as it sounds, that phase of mine is over I think. I don't feel jubilant over the world for having done so. While boiling the water, I wished I had opened my eyes at 7.00 and boiled this water. I wished to walk to school in translucent darkness and I wished to sit in the glass box at my school listening to the silence of a few friends moving about. I wished I had woken up early enough to buy coffee from the cafe and run though my mail and make some sketches. I would have felt more important. But now I don't. I usually feel important waking up at two in the afternoon but today I don't.

I have missed out on doing amazing things for 7 hours today.

I doubt if I'll repeat this on a weekday again. I am beginning to feel the mornings to be far more exciting and valuable than evenings now.

I am getting accustomed.